Postcard For Reader

On gendered and group-based insults and the characters that use them.

Warning: This post contains a LOT of curse words. If those are triggering to you or if you have a parent who is sensitive to language, please skip the following and go read a nice book.

This post didn't originally start because I read something in a book and I got angry. Actually, it started because I was watching WWE and nearly all of The Rock's insults are gender-based.

It's annoying.

But the more I thought about it and how I hated it, the more I thought about insults in general and how they're thrown around now - in movies, in text, in our society. I thought about the connotations of some of them and what it means when they're used - and why some are allowed when others aren't.

For instance, almost all ethnicity-based insults are the ones that we deem most offensive, because of our culture's history of racism and our own fear of being called racist. Words like nigga, japo and chink aren't thrown around on a daily basis; in fact, the only one I've ever heard in real like is nigga, and that's because it's a word that's been reclaimed by the black community.

But for somebody who isn't black to call somebody a nigga? Completely unacceptable, even if stupid teenagers try to get away with it.

And we all know why - not just because it's a racist comment, but because it's wrong to use a giant group of people as an insult.

Yet, I see these group insults everywhere.

The most common and the ones that people get angriest at, of course - besides the ethnic ones - are the ones to do with sexual orientation. Lez, fag, trannie; all of those can send people up in arms, and the other person usually laughs it off as a joke. They're allowed in our society, but barely, and the person using it is usually homophobic in some way or form.

And homophobia is not okay.

But then there's the sexist ones. And before the men get mad - you have a few, too. I could call you a dick or prick; both tie into you being a man and both are insulting.

But it's a little different for the girls.

Slut, whore, tramp, bitch, cunt, pussy, douche, tit, fem, prude -- all things that tie directly into a woman's body part or a woman's sexuality, and all are considered insults. To call somebody a pussy as as an insult says it's wrong to have one.

It doesn't matter if the insult is directed at a man or a woman. To a woman, you're terrible for having those body parts and using them or not using them. To a man, it's a comparison to that terrible body part.

"We have this weird thing in the world where you don't get insulted for what you do, you get insulted for who you are. 'Gay will never work as an insult because it's not bad! So you want to call me a gay nerd virgin? That's fine. Believe me when I say... you are embarrassing yourself."

John Green is right. The longer we perpetrate this idea that just being something - gay, a woman, sexually active - is a bad thing, we are saying that being that entire group is a bad thing.

But what does this have to do with ya lit?

I've mentioned that I see this in YA lit. And as readers, there isn't much we can do. This is more to the writers.

And all I ask is this: know what insults you're using and what they mean. If you're trying to create a feminist character, having her throw around words like 'slut' and 'bitch' subverts that. You can have a man that calls other guys fags or calls a girl a tramp, but know that it might shift what your character believes in.

Even if it's a contemporary setting and that's the slang - people don't use those words unless they believe in the connotations behind them or are too stupid to understand. And most times, the characters are neither.

There's nothing wrong with using these insults when that's the way you want to portray your character - somebody who is against that entire group of people, even if he or she doesn't realize it.

But if you're trying to build a strong, accepting character and these words are dropped in? Something's gone wrong.

So when your supposedly kick-ass lady is calling another girl a slut while mooning over a guy herself? I'd check what you're writing and really think about your characters.

I recommend reading this post from Crunchings and Munchings on misogynistic language in ya lit and this post on girl on girl hate.